Sunday, July 27, 2008

What If??

As I am pondering life's meaning, I wondered what if!!!

What if there were newborn hearing test in 1968 like today?
Maybe the doctors would have spotted my hearing loss and been fitted with hearing aids earlier.

What if the doctor treated my strep throat and it did not develop into rheumatic fever?
Maybe my hearing loss would not have gotten worst and my body wouldn't have the effects of rheumatic fever 30+ years later.

What if I were one of the 1 out of 4 children serviced under IDEA of 1974?
What if my mom's hunt for appropriate education for me was met with understanding teachers and administrations?
Maybe I would not have sat in the last row, last seat. Maybe when my 3rd grade teacher was teaching reading, I wasn't just educating myself. Maybe when all others were learning how to pronounce ed-u-ca-tion, I was just trying to read their lips. Maybe I would have gotten the foundation instead of cracks! Maybe I would have learned ASL or Cued Speech or SEE or AVT.

What if I had good medical insurance coverage growing up?
Then maybe I would have been able to get the hearing aids I needed instead of lying to my mom. Telling her I hear okay, because as a single mom raising 3 girls other expenses came first. Maybe should won't have had to work 2 jobs and save 3 years to buy my first hearing aids.

What if technology of today was available to my parents back in 1968?
Maybe I could have bypassed all this with a cochlear implant. Maybe if my parents had the access to cochlear implants and AVT training, I would have bypassed some of the events in my life that added shame, even today. What if????
Update - My dad is back into the hospital. He went into a diabetic coma and his heart stopped. They revived him and he is in ICU. He is still jaundice and his liver is failing. But dad is strong and if anyone can overcome it is my Vietnam Veteran loves his grand babies.


Sam said...

What if indeed! I do feel somewhat fortunate that I got the hearing aids I needed (although Mum had to persuade the doctor three or four times that it was NOT a cold) and got the education I needed, although it meant going to boarding school.

My personal "what if" is "what if Mum hadn't caught Rubella while she was carrying me?" I do think about that one every now and then, but there really isn't much point pondering over that one as I can't change it!!

Anonymous said...

Valerie -

Indeed, life can be full of "what if".

Lifes experiences have a huge hand in molding who we become. You and I wouldn't be the unique individuals we are today without those same experiences.
Perhaps it comes down to whether or not an individual would change who they are today, for the what ifs'. :)

My thoughts are with you and your family.


Prince Andrew and the Queen Mum said...

take a peek at 'the last lecture.'

and/or the website

Prince Andrew and the Queen Mum said...

ps; to you and sam...i also had the rubella thing- heart problem that went w/ it... 'it is what it is'...

Tiffani said...

Hugs, Valerie. Prayers for your dad, too.

Li-Li's Mom said...

Oh Valerie, sending a hug to you and thinking positive thoughts for your dad ...

Anonymous said...

Hi Valerie,

Just last Friday on the way to Cincinnati Reds game with my two friends, one of them was telling me about his doctor's appointments and mentioned he had to go to emergency room few weeks ago because his eyeball was turning yellow and used this word jaundice. He had liver troubles, said something about a tube under it being replaced...don't remember what it's called. When he said jaundice I thought about your post on your dad last week.

I still hope your dad do get well again.

Now if this "What If" was there in 1972, I wouldn't have known you...and not be able to pick on you this fall after each games the Titans play poorly.

Shari/"Whiger" said...

I will be sending prayers and thoughts your way, Val. He sounds like a trooper and I can tell how much you love him.

Life is full of "what ifs." It's what you can do about it that counts. I try to think "what can I do?" even though I do think "what if."

Take care.

Valerie said...

thank you all for your prayers and thoughts. I have gotten that call. Mom has asked Jenna and I to come down to see dad. No doctor will treat him because they don't know what is wrong. Mom is trying to move him to University of Alabama or Mercer in Atlanta. She wants the grandchildren to say good bye. I know in my heart what this good bye is. He is on morphine so he is not in pain. Please keep him in your prayers.

As for what ifs, you are right we have to focus on what can we do.

Lane, I'm sorry to say that I will be taking care of you after the Colts go down!!!! Titans!!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, Valerie. I'm just now catching up on blogs after my week-long hiatus and my heart is breaking for you.

You've given me such great support and I wish I could do the same for you!

Please know that you and your family are in my prayers and I'm sending so many good thoughts your way.

Lots of hugs,