Thursday, March 6, 2008

How can a word cause so much pain?

I want to share with you my experiences. I can't wait to explain the changes in my life, since my cochlear implants. Better I want to tell you about how wearing hearing aids as a child really helped. How I am having a difficult time learning ASL.

Oh well,

Nevermind!

15 comments:

Tales from the CI Gal said...

How does that word make you feel?

pain, dismissed, disregarded??????

mishkazena said...

You won't get that from me. I am interested in hearing your stories.

I am trying to think if my family ever used these words with me, but not that I recall. It may be due to the factthat I wasn't the only deaf child in the family.

But yeah, I can imaging how that make me feel diminished big time.

Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

Hmmm. "Nevermind" my grandmother hated that word and NEVER let us say it without saying exactly what it was we had originally wanted to say. She could never hear what we said the first time around, so strange now that I think about it, so as a sign of respect for her, she demanded that we always repeat what we had said, and she was one of the only people who ever really listened to what I was trying to say...Thanks, Val, for reminding me about this. Huge hugs, Jodi

Karen said...

You won't get a "nevermind" from me. :)

kw said...

I'm guilty! And I should know better because I can't hear and people do it to me all the time too. It's just that I have this habit of talking to myself while thinking and working around the house. I wasn't really aware of it, until hubby started losing his hearing and then he began asking "what? WHAT?" all the time. I wasn't even talking to him. If I repeat he still doesn't hear. I can say, "I wasn't talking to you." and then he'll say, "what?" Or he'll repeat what he thought he heard, and because I'm deaf too, then I'll say, "What?" and then we're both saying, "What?", "What?", "What?" Finally I throw up my hands and say "Nevermind" Now maybe you understand why I'm taking ASL.

Anonymous said...

I hated the word! Growing up in a hearing family in which conversations flew fast, I finally got into the habit of banging repeatedly on a table with the flat of my hand and an exasperated look on my face every time somebody said "Nevermind!"

Finally my father recognized the problem and would demand only one speaker at a time can "hold the floor", so that I could hear what was being said.

Ann_C

Suey said...

This is almost as if you were going to say something but think no one would be interested.

I wear hearing aid, grew up oral then learned ASL when I was in college.

Here is what irritates me. When someone say something to me, I didn't get it because I didn't hear everything that was said, would say never mind because she or he didn't want to repeat it.

Or I get the shorter version of what was said. Say if someone said something really funny to a crowd I am in, I would ask what was so funny. I get the shorter version and people would look at me waiting for me to laugh. It isn't funny the second time.... That's irritating!

Li-Li's mom said...

ugh, Val, I'm pained that you must have encountered this from somebody. Please say it's just some random cyber-dust-up somewhere and not someone you love.

But either way, I can't imagine anyone dismissing your wonderful stories, your thoughtful comments. Don't let anyone shush you.

(another one of those power-packed soul-sucking words is "whatever")

Abbie said...

I hate that word...

I remember when I was in middle school and I had this one teacher with entire monkey hanging off his lips. You know as well as I do, I need to see the lips. He asked me a question and I couldn't understand him so I asked him to repeat it and it was pointless when I asked him for the third time. He turned around and said "Nevermind, I will have some one else answer it." That really was a slap in the face.

I hated when nevermind was uttered by my so-called friends or when it was muttered at work especially when it was accompanied by "the hand." I suppose I turned into one of those "angry deaf children" that every one talks about when I started getting into peoples faces to repeat themselves.

At least I was told what was said. If and when I ever decide to have a child, I'm planning on doing exactly what Jodi grandmother did..

Anonymous said...

"How I am having a difficult time learning ASL." Maybe it is because you just learn ASL about a month and you expected to be fluent in ASL within a month? or is it because you do not hang out with Deaf people that use ASL so you can practice and learn from outside, not only from the class? Or is it because you do not ask us if we could assist you and help you to understand ASL better?

Never Mind can be difficult for many people.

ASLCHAMP

Jennifer said...

What's really hurtful is when your SPOUSE says it. I also don't like "I'll tell you later"....because he never does.

Tales from the CI Gal said...

Thank you all for your comments. I have learned so much from your words. I wanted to see what that word meant to you. for me it means being dismissed and put aside. I hate how it makes me feel.

My problem with ASL is I am use to looking at the mouth and not the body. I don't expect to be fluent in a month, I expect to at least pick up something. It is very difficult without a group to practice with. I am use to struggle, so I just have to try a little harder.

Valerie

P.S. off to a dance comp in this bad weather, I am a nervous wreck with driving, I hope the trip is well. We get back on Sunday.

jp said...

Good to hear from you, girl. I'm so glad your CI's are progressing as you planned. Call me when you can. John.

Lisa C. said...

I hate the word. My family have never said that word. Hearing strangers made me feel diminished everytime they said "Nevermind".

Priscilla said...

You write very well.